"Go in the strength you have...." Judges 6:14
But Lord, my strength is small. I feel so weak…and frail.
Can you stand?
Not without You Lord.
Then take My hand.
This is how I approach tomorrow friends. The Lord has provided in so many ways over the past three weeks, but now I stand afraid to face another treatment and begin the process over again. I wish it was over. I wish it had never begun.
Tomorrow I will walk into the Cancer Center again, not as a visitor, but as a patient. I will have my blood assessed at 8am. Trusting all will be well, and I’ll move on to see my surgeon/oncologist for 9am. After consulting with him, Lord willing I will proceed to the treatment center and another round of meds will be pumped through my body killing diseased cells and bringing healing.
I ask that you would pray the treatment can be given as scheduled and nothing detour it from happening tomorrow. I pray for journey and mercies as my sister and I travel to Sunnybrook, leaving just after 5:30am. I ask that you would pray there would be no reaction to the drugs this time. I would love to avoid the rush of feeling I endured at the previous treatment, as well as the rash that manifest itself. I pray if the CT scan is scheduled, the results will indicate my lymph nodes are not enlarged. This will keep me from needing radiation. I pray the recovery this time will go smoothly and my body will not resist the treatment, but receive it well, allowing it to do the work for which it is designed. I pray for my relationship and reactions with medical staff, other patients, and volunteers. May they see Jesus. I pray I will have a good night’s rest tonight. I did not sleep well last night at all. I ask that you would continue to pray I will accept the changes taking place. I’ll tell you, looking in the mirror isn’t getting any easier. It’s hard to believe the "Princess" status, even while wearing the tiara. Pray I will be conscientious to eat the proper foods and drink enough so my body will benefit from the protein and fluids. Please pray I will continue to choose to spend daily time in God’s Word, even when I could make what would seem like valid excuses. I need Him. I desperately need Him. Please pray I will not be nauseated and I will be a good little girl and take my medications when needed. (I threw that request in especially for Diane.) Please pray for my sister as she accompanies me. Pray the Lord will give her strength for the day. Please pray as my "boys" hope to go up to Muskoka Bible Conference Center this weekend that they will enjoy the rest and they will be kept safe. Please pray for my precious friend Eithne who is giving up her time to care for me if my guys are away.
My friend Nancy shared a verse with me on the weekend. "But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head." Psalm 3:3. I am so thankful the Lord is my shield. A shield doesn’t prevent the attack, but it protects us in battle. Yes, there have been many days lately where I have felt the enemy’s fiery darts, but the Lord is continuing to give me victory.
"Even though I'm walkin' through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
And He will carry me."
(He Will Carry Me – Mark Schultz)
Placing myself in His arms. Needing Him to carry me,
Please continue to pray for Diane, "Hope". The memorial service may be over, but the journey without her mom has just begun. Please pray the Lord will continue to minister to her heart. Love ya friend. Wish we were together right now. HUGS